yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
