as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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