I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
