biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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