Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
