It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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