there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
