Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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