I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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