yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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