Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
