would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
