Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
