it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
