All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
