So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
