If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
