I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
