so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
