what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
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