I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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