the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
