WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
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