I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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