Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
