Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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