Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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