Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
