Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
