He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
