Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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