Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
