it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
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