Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
