He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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