Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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