Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
