If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize