I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
