been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
