Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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