White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
