im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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