Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
