So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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