No awkward lesbian experiences without me
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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