you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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