walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
