Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
