Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
