if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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